As with most writings, it’s a reminder for myself and if Allah wills a motivation or inspiration for any lost soul like I was 5 years ago. It’s a reminder that we still experience personal miracles, divine interventions and divine protections when in an agnostic view it’s just sheer luck ( may Allah protect us from such arrogance). 2022 has been a blessed year for me.
The year started with a lot of pain and visits to the hospitals and clinic. But things got resolved well. Alhamdulillah, I was mostly okay. I was getting back to my life slowly. I was also learning about Islam slowly but steadily. I was slowly starting to believe I can be redeemed in my deen.
One weekend in March, just like any other day, I prayed my salahs, did my dhikrs and quran study and left home for 2 city away to a garden center to buy plants and to do grocery for Ramadan. On our way back the car caught fire while we were on a local highway. We got out fast, and I called 911. By the time all the fire trucks and engines and police cars rolled in, the car was burnt to a crisp with a huge explosion. All it took was 5 minutes. I still cannot believe the miracle. It was deep in the winter, and because of my health I had the window open in that cold. Through that Allah saved us from suffocating in fumes that were filling the car interior. Another miracle was we were just in front of an intersection so we could get off the highway and avoid collision or damage to other vehicles due to the explosion. We were safe, we ran out of the car fast and far enough, and we had no valuables in the car that day.
All the while I was thinking, is this a punishment or test? Did I do anything wrong today? Did I forget any of my deeds of the day? Which I didn’t and I told myself, it’s a test, so I kept up with my dhikrs as I stood there in the cold surrounded by police and watched the fire crew extinguish the massive flame. Allah took care of us perfectly that day. And the following few months, as we traversed the complicated geography of insurance, everything was wrapped up perfectly. We got full payment from the insurance for the car damage, which we used to buy a new vehicle. I still think back and my heart fills with gratitude, how we were saved from such a sure demise, without a single scratch on our body or soul or finances. My spiritual counselor helped me tremendously to see things clearly (May Allah reward her with much more than what Allah gave me through her). My belief and trust in Allah was increasing, Alhamdulillah.
Fast forward a few months, and while we were traveling for work to another country, a drunk driver hit our vehicle as we were unloading in front of our hotel. We were just there, 2 seconds early and he would have hit us with full speed. I remember once the police came, arrested the man, and the tow company took the car, I came inside and I broke down shaking. I was too shocked and I was grateful that we were again saved perfectly from a massive disaster. This too was a beautiful test as we navigated the insurance and civil court internationally the following months. Every time doubt wanted to set in, it had to be a conscious effort to redirect the mind, Allah will take care of us, every moment is a blessed moment because we are still alive.
إنَّا للـهِ وإنَّا إلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ، اللَّهُمَّ أجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيْبَتي، وأخْلِفْ لِي خَيْراً مِنْهَا
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma-jurni fi musibati, wa akhlif li khairan minha
(We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it)
Sahih Muslim 11/4 (918)
It was a long procedure to get our vehicle back repaired. But through all these, people expressed much sympathy and told us to accept our loss. We smiled and just prayed to Allah for ease. It took 4 months, Allah rewarded our patience and we got everything back with proper financial recompensations for everything. While lot of people congratulated us for getting the legal and financial complexity sorted, I kept thinking how our life was saved in 2 seconds. Another direct divine miracle.
This is also the year I got back to my hiking after 4 years, being sick and other restrictions. And Allah filled my heart with hope every time I was in nature. While I was failing to see any good or beauty in my own life, Allah showed me how much He blessed me with. My heart was still capable of capturing the magnificence of nature, of the sun’s and moon’s movement. Allah has preserved the innocence of my soul, the little girl, who would forget everything once she was in a forest or on a beach. I was still that person who wanted to absorb everything in nature and feel the immense blessing. My life still has meaning if Allah keeps me capable of feeling such joy. I can be redeemed, InshaAllah.
Me finding my inner self, my soul again; to see I haven’t lost the simplicity of it all, it was a blessing only I know how much it is. Allah brought me back some of my past blessings too slowly. While happiness is a relative term for me, it’s something I am not much interested in; I have felt overflowing gratitude to my Lord, I have felt joy in my old friends ( forest, sea and mountains) and I have felt slowly increasing peace. That in itself is a personal miracle from Allah; catered for me specially. Alhamdulillah.
The year ended with another miracle. We got stranded in a massive blizzard. Cars got stuck in snow and people died in cold or CO poisoning. We drove with last of our vehicle power to a hotel and I remember breaking down crying that we were saved and not end up being another casualty of the storm. Again because of my health issues, I had extra food with me, and while the whole city was closed, no food anywhere, I had just enough food to get by the 3 days we were stuck in the snow. Not in my wildest imagination I would have thought I would get stuck in a blizzard with a serious risk of dying in CO poisoning or cold while I am comfortable living in Canada, I was even annoyed with myself for packing so much food, and Allah showed me the reason! How He plans so perfectly. I was again saved by 2 minutes. As I was driving back on the last week of the year from that blizzard impacted city, I was thinking how many ways Allah saved me this year. By saving me from multiple accidents and by showing me beauty and removing a little of my blindness.
So I start the year 2023 with a heart full of gratitude and hope.
رَبِّا هْدِنِي وَيَسِّرِ الْهُدَى لِي