“Harden your heart, girl! Don’t you dare cry,
Dodge, duck, slip! Get up, get ready”-
Every morning I woke up,
Ready to be punched and not evade.
Every night, I was black and blue,
I nursed my wounds with silent tears.
One day anger came and sat by my side,
Requested an abode in my tired heart.
With much grace and strength imbued
Anger grew into an over-protective dragon,
Hissing, waiting, primed to attack.
It whispered, “Parry and punch little girl,
Its time to dance into a warrior woman”.
And we danced, Oh, how we danced!
A particularly cruel punch,
A timely attack slipped through my defense,
And unleashed my dear friend to the world.
We had such glorious run, we burned,
In fire of glorious rage, fueled by my soul.
Like every volatile love affair, between a narcissist and an empath,
Anger shadowed all the light of my soul, kept me blind.
And life started to slip out of my hand, like sand
I got gut punched into a pause, I looked around as I hunched over in pain.
I saw my soul, battered and dimmed,
Dying, fighting against me and my anger.
The field around me strewn with pieces of me.
My anger burned all the bridges and silenced all voices,
And as it found nothing else to burn, it turned inside.
With waves and waves of pain rolling over me,
With declining vision, ringing ear and slurred speech,
I embraced my fragile soul, and I approached anger.
I approached my friend, my protection against the world,
How you always stayed by my side, how you kept all the pains at bay,
I felt nothing for the longest time as I roared and fought every fight I could pick,
And you were there to fight as well, you filled up the void love left,
With you I got tougher, harder and more destructive; with you it was easier.
But I still yearned for that little girl I was, I loved the me that was loved.
I wasn’t ready to leave yet, I wasn’t ready to bury my soul as I buried my love.
I am still picking up all my pieces, may be divine mercy will stitch me back.
We end here my loyal friend, I bid you farewell.
Let grace fill up the space this time as you leave.